Gwam Gwam Gwam, Gwam How Ham Do You Go At The Buffet?

I am a big foodie. I love to eat. I am not a picky eater but I am not crazy about vegetables, even though it’s half of what I eat (Gotta keep that core tight and body healthy). Anyway, I LOVE TO EAT. My favourite food is meat. The way to my heart is through a platter of meat and a good conversation. Take me to a buffet where meat is served and I will forever be in your debt. Okay, that is enough; I think you understand how much I love food. Speaking writing about buffets, I am going to share my buffet experience in this entry and it ain’t pretty.

3785-4f9eff5d41fb42e4a12daf258174b6e6My aunt’s birthday celebrated her birthday on the 1st October 2016 (#wavingtheNigerianflag). She treated few of my family members to dinner at Billy G, located in Monte Casino. I was dolled up; slaying for days; like anybody that passed me felt the wrath of my sword. Yeah I looked that good *feeling myself in Beyoncé’s voice*. The buffet started at six p.m. but we got there early. We didn’t book beforehand so we had to stand outside in a long queue. My class was fading away as time went by. I was in heels and the way the ground was levelled wasn’t helping. But I stood on the queue with all might because I knew what was at the other side; I pictured my promise land; I pictured my Canaan – my land flowing with milk, honey and a lot of meat.


Finally we entered the restaurant, got ourselves a table and prepared to feast. First thing I did was take off my shoes and stretch my legs a bit in preparation of the heavy load I was about to carry. When I went to the buffet table, the heavens opened and I saw God smile at me. I had a lot to choose from and I chose them all. I started off with sushi, prawns, chicken salad and some unknown items that looked nice. You know na, just to open belle. Then the real feasting began. I ate and ate and ate and ate and ate… until I could eat no more, and then I ate some more. After my meat feast with little spaghetti on the side, I decided to go for desert.

Welcome to cake heaven. I had two or more slices of cake, pancakes and ice cream, tarts and many more I can’t remember. By this time, I had already forgotten composure – shoes off to God knows where, legs spread apart as your girl was digging in. All I was thinking of is to fill myself with food. Ah food is amazing. After desert, I snacked on some liver, beef and chicken as we chatted before living. I didn’t eat them alone. You know “eat alone, die alone”.  I shared my snacks with my sister. In order for me to eat all of these, I didn’t drink water or juice until I was done. When I finally drank water, I realised what I had done to myself. YEPA! Girl can’t stand up. My buttons were begging for mercy.

I got home that night and I couldn’t sleep. The bed was too soft, so I decided to sleep on the floor.  I was in so much pain from overeating. I tried to force nature to take its course in my digestive system but it refused. I decided to sleep on my stomach. Maybe that way the food will digest faster. Then I realised no other part of my body was touching the floor. My stomach was the only part on the ground. It was like I was the doing the swimming exercise where you lift your hands and legs off the floor, holding your body up with only your core. I was sweating and in so much pain that night. I should end this tale by saying that I have learnt my lesson and will never overeat again. But that would be a lie. I love food too much not to eat it all when it offered to me on a platter. If I were to return to the night, I will do the same thing. Actually, I will eat more.

Gwam, do you like food just as much as I do?

Gwam, have you been to a buffet and how your experience was.

Gwam, what is your favourite food?

Gwam, do you think my love for food is unhealthy?

XOXO Steph To You Later


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